


[DVD Commentary] On Your Knees

by kisahawklin



Category: UNIQ (Band)
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Consensual Underage Sex, DVD Commentary Challenge, Horny Teenagers, M/M, Multi, Plus feels because that's how I do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:06:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29242551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: ORIGINAL:Yibo's just a horny teenager living in a small space with a bunch of other horny teenagers.COMMENTARY:Yibo's just a horny teenager but Sungjoo has FEELS about being a horny teenager.
Relationships: But mostly Sungjoo/Yibo, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Wang Yi Bo, Kim Sungjoo/Wang Yi Bo, Li Wen Han/Wang Yi Bo
Kudos: 2
Collections: DVD Commentary Challenge





	1. Outline and notes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jellyfishfire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishfire/gifts).
  * Inspired by [On Your Knees](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24951919) by [kisahawklin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin). 



> **ORIGINAL:** Yeah, this was a fast and furious sort of thing, an outline came in half an hour of furious typing one night, and one week full of several dozen fics, six million vids, and four wiki spirals later, I made this. That’s all the research I did, so if I’ve got stuff wrong, sorry, I learned everything I know about UNIQ in about a week. Honestly, I don’t think there’s any more UNIQ stories in me, so I expect this to live in my one-offs forever, but the story itself wouldn’t let go and here we are. This is probably Jelly’s fault anyway. Actually, I take it back, this is ENTIRELY Jelly’s fault, and I’m sure she doesn’t even a little bit guilty about that. I mean, what exactly am I supposed to do when someone says _Yibo should always be on his knees?_
> 
>  **COMMENTARY:** So it turns out the DVD commentary is ALSO Jelly's fault as she linked me to the AO3 collection lol. Also she is the one that I paste bits of text at while I'm in process because she is an amazing alpha reader and her reactions are perfection and sometimes the only thing that keeps me writing on things. I can write alone, and even with Jelly's squee at my disposal, I often _do_ , but sometimes things are a mess of me writing crazy fast, sending things to Jelly for comment and then writing some more. This story also owes a lot to hyperfixation and watching so much UNIQ youtube stuff in a short time period that I was dreaming with a UNIQ soundtrack. I still have a blond Yibo thing that's probably never, ever going away at this point. *hides folder of blond Yibo pics*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what the top of my fic file looks like (a lot of them look like this).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think most of the summary is from a series of convos with Jelly, and the links and other stuff was vague things I was thinking about possible timeline and information I was trying to keep in mind (lol STILL can't remember that Wenhan and Sungjoo are of an age).
> 
> Basically I find outlines fascinating because it's interesting to see how scenes actually played out compared to how they were originally conceived, and where things were added and subtracted from the structure.

Uniq porn

https://hype.my/2014/26815/uniq-ygs-new-korean-chinese-boy-group-to-debut-under-yuehua-entertainment/#!

10/20/14 – debut with Falling in Love (they’d been training for 3 years?)  
4/25/15 – EOEO came out (this has to be when Yibo cut his hair and dyed it back? Too many interviews of being called beautiful and cute and whatnot)  
5/22/15 – Luv Again came out  
10/16/15 – 2nd digital album, MV for Best Friend (“last Korean comeback”??)  
8/2016 – 2017 Wenhan acting a lot  
1/2017 – Happy New Year  
Interviews in 2017 – Yibo’s already saying he’s “difficult to approach” and has lost some of the cute sunshiny smiles.  
10/15/2017 – 3rd year anniversary, all together  
10/20/2017 – Sungjoo is walking a runway  
2017 – Wang Yibo won best new actor at Asian Influence awards; Yixuan performed in Rap of China and released a solo album

Zhou Yixuan 12/11/1990  
Kim Sungjoo 2/16/2994  
Li Wenhan 7/22/1994  
Cho Seungyoun 8/5/1996  
Wang Yibo 8/5/1997

Starts off with innocent Yibo rubbing himself off on Seungyoun while asleep, who complains about it, so Yibo gives him a handjob to let him keep going.

This happens a few times before someone (maybe Wenhan?) catches them but doesn’t do anything.

So I think then Wenhan does something that ends with him ending up sticking his fingers in Yibo’s mouth and just… hnnnngh. And Yibo is like… *blink blink* and just… sinks to his knees, and Wenhan is like, well, fuck, not gonna NOT tap that. But after, Yibo’s just on his knees, palming himself, whining, so Wenhan crouches down, Yibo’s head settles on his shoulder and he gives him a handjob until Yibo shudders out an orgasm.

So this becomes a thing, like, Yibo will go on his knees for any of them, any time, though it’s mostly Wenhan and Seungyoun (and he still fucks around in bed with Seungyoun when they sleep together), but it’s also a rule – after you get yours, you give Yibo a hand.

With Sungjoo really, it happens on accident the first time, Sungjoo is upset and Yibo hugs him, and Sungjoo kinda really thinks Yibo is hot but also feels a bit like a creep because Yibo is so *young* so he tries to be an adult about it, modeling Yixuan (who likes Seungyoun but just keeps himself more decorous because he has to be the grown-up), but when Yibo just kneels down in front of him, it’s meant to be comfort, because that’s what Yibo knows, and Sungjoo just can’t not and then of course, it’s the rules, once Yibo sucks you off, you get him off with a handjob.

Of course there isn’t any kissing in any of this, because that’s not what it is, it’s just boys fucking around, though of course, they all understand that Yibo is probably, most definitely gay, whereas the rest of them are either bi or heteroflexible. 

But now Sungjoo wants *more* and he’s stuck because he can’t keep away from Yibo’s so willing mouth but he really wants to kiss Yibo and do other stuff with him because there’s SO MUCH MORE THEY COULD DO and eventually sometime when they have a room to themselves for a minute, Sungjoo is like, Yibo, and Yibo just looks up at him adoringly and goes down to his knees, and Sungjoo GOES DOWN TO HIS KNEES WITH HIM and kisses him and Yibo is just sort of like… ??!!!! And then cue full blown making out with kissing and hands under clothes, and Yibo frotting the hell out of Sungjoo because that’s all he really knows outside of blowjobs, and Sungjoo just being all, “calm down kid, just hang on a minute” and getting them naked and just rubbing their skin together instead, getting a hand around both of them and Yibo’s just like… who knew there was so much more to this? 

And then he and Sungjoo are just sort of fuckbuddies, and Yibo gets his own blowjob and suddenly understands why his bandmates like that so much, and then there’s fingering and Yibo is like, um… can we? Because fuck, that was awesome and now I need to have some cock, I think, and yeah, definitely, Yibo can have some cock, but Sungjoo takes care of Yibo, like, that’s kind of his job, and so it’s slow and easy and Yibo kind of goes crazy because fuck you Sungjoo.

And that is how Yibo is not even a little bit a virgin when he goes off to film The Untamed and decides after maybe a week that Xiao Zhan is the most handsome gege ever, and after about three weeks he decides that Xiao Zhan kinda likes him, that he is absolutely gonna get him some of that.


	2. DVD Commentary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I have things I wanted to say about this story? And just in writing because I have tried to podfic Yibo and Sungjoo and their voices were difficult for me, so not going to do this one, which also has too much sexy times for me to podfic without dying of embarrassment.

> I think Yibo and Seungyoun's dynamic may honestly be my favorite. They're just obviously so close, so similar in some ways and just. I love them together so much, and it makes me happy for them to have found each other. Sungjoo's feelings go through a roller coaster ride in this, but Seungyoun's are solid and unchanging, I think. This is just. One more thing for them, it doesn't have any particular significance within their relationship. I love that for them.

~~~

Seungyoun wakes up hot and kind of horny. It takes him a minute to figure out that it’s because Yibo’s sprawled across him like an octopus, rubbing his cock up and down against Seungyoun’s side. He shoves at Yibo, but he just hangs on tighter and whines.

“Yibo,” he croaks, his voice tired. “Come on, man.”

Yibo whines again, and then his hand shifts down to Seungyoun’s cock and applies some pressure, and _fuck_ , it’s so sweet and perfect that Seungyoun can’t help sliding up into it a little. This slides his hips against where Yibo’s rutting against him and Yibo’s whine sounds different this time, more pleased. 

It’s easy enough to just thrust his hips a little, letting Yibo’s hand do most of the work and listening to Yibo’s warm breath in his ear, and it only takes a couple of minutes before the only sounds are their moans, and then he’s coming, hips arching off the bed, Yibo whining in his ear before his hand shifts off of Seungyoun and onto himself and then he’s coming too, his loose limbs stiff for a moment before they go lax again.

Seungyoun’s hot as fuck now, though, so he throws the covers off them and rolls to the outside of the bed, disentangling from Yibo’s limbs. Yibo turns the other direction, to the cool wall, and he hears Yibo’s soft, regular breathing before the heat even dissipates between them.

> Beginnings are my jam. As a writer, I often know just, automatically, what POV something should be in and where it should start. I just…. Start writing. And usually the first few scenes come out easy like breathing. It means that I don't often get the kind of writer's block that is staring at a blank page, and I am immensely thankful for that. The kind of writer's block I get is when the easy flow of something runs out and now the hard work of "the slogging middle" begins. Also, because beginnings are so easy for me, I think, endings are extra hard. I have a hard time not just getting to the climax of something and being like, "Okay, that's it lads, I'm done!" Forcing myself to write denouement or wrap-up at the end of the fic is torture, a lot of times because I just want to post at that point.

~~~

Wenhan catches them at it one night, sneaking into their room late to pounce on them like he sometimes does. They all freeze for one heart-stopping second, and then Yibo groans and rocks his hips against Seungyoun, pressing down with his hand in the way he’s figured out Seungyoun likes it, and Seungyoun throws his head back against the pillows. When he comes a few minutes later, Wenhan is gone and the door is shut.

~~~

> I have a lot of feels about POV. This one just sort of naturally switched POVs without any say so from my brain. Normally I would force it to try and stick to one POV, but I have finally gotten used to some more recent fandom conventions and am learning to make use of them. One is serial posting. I get it, now, though I'm bad at it. When I finish a fic, I just want to post the whole damn thing! So I still write an entire fic before posting, I just think of it in bite-size chunks now, where I didn't before. And having experienced Sami posting _and time is but a paper moon_ serially, with a rigid two-day schedule…. I get it. And I want to provide that kind of experience. But it's not my natural way. The second thing is POV changes. I really prefer to write in third person limited for the entirety of a fic, even the really long ones. A couple of my fics are from multiple POVs and for the long ones, I prefer to have these changes by chapter. It makes the demarcation easy and provides an obvious, easy reference point. (As a podficcer who often has to go back and be like, 'wait did we change POV here?' this is important to me – a demarcation means I don't go for several sentences/paragraphs not knowing who should be narrating.) This fic just sort of…. Shifted. The first two bits were Seongyoun and I knew that was all he was going to get because Wenhan was going to get the actual blowjob, so on to Wenhan's POV we went. 
> 
> Another thing I agonized over was names. In Chinese (/Kpop) fandom, the names/titles/nicknames are fraught for me, because I don't speak the language(s) and don't really know much about the culture (and understand even less), but I feel moderately sure that in the crazy week of UNIQ youtube spiraling, I heard the boys call each other just by their individual names. If that's wrong and they don't do that, then this is me formally apologizing for it here. I kind of hinted at it in the notes on the original fic, but I'm going to say it here, too, because man: I absolutely do not want to disrespect an entire culture – and I do know, from some interactions in real life with actual Chinese folks, some of the conventions. But these Chinese and Korean folks, I only know from TV and what I could glean from a week of youbtube. So if I'm wrong about the names, someone let me know and I will attempt to fix it.

It’s not that he cares, Wenhan tells himself, it’s just that it was so fucking _hot_ , Yibo all wrapped around Seungyoun and rubbing himself off with a steady, sensual rhythm that just lives in his body. Yibo’s stupidly pretty for a boy, especially since he went blond, and Wenhan has thought more than once about how nice his mouth is. He hadn’t dared to think things like “what if” because they live in such a small space and there’s cameras around all the time, and even when there aren’t cameras around, there’s three other guys he considers brothers around because what is privacy, anyway?

But when Yibo’s up late, hungry because he’s a fucking teenager still, whining about their diets, Wenhan takes some shrimp chips out of his snacks stash, throwing them at him. Yibo devours them, licking his fingers after he’s done.

Wenhan stares at him, at the gorgeous, unselfconscious way his tongue wraps around his fingers and can’t help it – he shoves up from the table, into Yibo’s space, and pushes two fingers into his mouth. Yibo blinks, incomprehension for just a minute in his wide-eyed stare, and then his eyes half-shut and he presses his tongue against Wenhan’s fingers, tightens his lips around them, and pulls back just a little before taking Wenhan’s fingers into his mouth past his second knuckle.

That gets Wenhan to his feet, which means Yibo’s head tips back, and fuck, he’s suddenly, painfully hard, hard enough that walking away is an impossibility. Apparently Yibo thinks so too, because he slides off his chair and onto his knees, and it’s not like Wenhan was the king of self-control before. 

Yibo’s fingers slip under the waistband of Wenhan’s shorts, and he just… lets him, because at this point his heart’s hammering so loud in his chest he can’t think straight, and Yibo looks at his cock like it’s something delicious and he’s still starving. He looks up at Wenhan in a way he’s pretty sure someone Yibo’s age can’t possibly understand is sexy as fuck, and Wenhan gives in, shuffling forward until Yibo opens his mouth and takes Wenhan’s cock into it.

> This story was seriously a perfect storm of UNIQ hyperfixation, my pre-fertility horny days, and morning writing before my brain comes online to make word choice difficult. So seriously, writers, as a night owl who often thinks her creative stuff is best around 1am, I am telling you that morning writing has been a godsend. [I have written about it at length](https://kate.dreamwidth.org/721705.html) but especially with porn, which ties stupidly closely to my menstrual cycle in terms of having the interest and ability to write it, being able to write at stupid o'clock in the morning when my brain isn't awake yet is a fucking godsend. I'm not awake enough to be embarrassed or think about choreography or anything, it just _flows_. And I know, I know. I hear a lot of people say they just not morning people and couldn't do this, but I honestly think THAT IS THE REASON IT WORKS SO PERFECTLY. Like, I am NOT a morning person. After I write, I go back to sleep for a couple of hours, and often turn of my alarm and go "in" to work late if I don't have a meeting first thing. (The pandemic has been great for my sleep schedule, I love rolling out of bed and being at my desk within 15 mintues. Genius.) But forcing myself to write in the morning, and a stupid hour of the morning when I'm not awake, powers through so many of the things that can paralyze me when I'm conscious and writing with my brain online. Word choice. Need for research. Embarrassment (especially at porn but also at ~feelings). None of that is an issue for half-asleep me. Neither are blocks. Blocks? What are blocks? If I don't know what comes next, I just reread what I wrote that morning before I go to sleep. When I wake up, I just open the computer and start writing again. It is the best thing ever. 
> 
> I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. I have spent YEARS getting to this place. But within a month of "just do it" and getting up at dumb o'clock, I could see the difference in my output and production. I got more words because I didn't get stuck and stare off into space or go on tumblr. It was hard, but the results were impossible to argue with. And so now I do this all the time, and I fucking love it. I wrote a 5k fest fic in 4 days. I'm writing on 4 separate over-20k WIPs and will likely finish at least 3 of them. It's genius. I cannot tell you how much I recommend it.
> 
> Also, I went looking but I can't find the version of this fic I put on Google Drive for Jelly that has her comments. Too bad because they were amazing. And one of them here was along the lines of "baby's first blowjob" and just… I mean. Yeah. That's exactly what this was.

It’s painfully hot, and Wenhan can’t do much more than keep himself still while Yibo experimentally takes Wenhan into his mouth, slowly, getting a hand around the base of Wenhan’s cock when he can’t take any more. It only takes two slow sucks for Yibo to find a good rhythm and Wenhan loses it after two more, coming in Yibo’s mouth before he can even think to do anything else.

Yibo chokes it down, coughing a little, and Wenhan’s less embarrassed about that than he should be, because Yibo’s mouth is even hotter around his cock and Wenhan can’t even handle that. But then he notice’s Yibo’s whining, one hand on his own cock, so Wenhan crouches down, pulling Yibo close until he rests his head against Wenhan’s shoulder. Wenhan pets his hair and finally positions himself so he can get a hand down Yibo’s shorts, grabbing him firmly and stroking him easily a few times until he’s coming, too. 

Some slight noise makes him look up, and he sees Seungyoun and Sungjoo standing next to each other in the hallway, staring. When he catches their eyes, they both immediately turn around and go back to their rooms, Sungjoo closing the door softly and Seungyoun leaving his open. Things have changed, Wenhan knows, and he can’t really be sorry for it with Yibo’s soft hair under his fingers.

~~~

> While I'm a big fan of kids being kids and experimenting with sex, Yixuan has always felt a little too old for the rest of the group. Sungjoo is right on the line for me, but they're in an unusual situation and he is, basically, still a kid. I never say, but I pretty much imagine this happens in 2013-4, so Yibo would've been at youngest 16 and Sungjoo at oldest 20 (but I always imagine him to be 19 because teenagers – teenagers having sex experimentally is cool; and it's not like a switch flips the moment you turn 20, but there's a weird, ominous sort of feel to that kind of flip so I just think of Sungjoo as perpetually 19 in this). [ETA: Coming back to add, I ALWAYS FORGET WENHAN IS ROUGHLY SUNGJOO'S AGE. In my mind he's closer to Seungyoun and Yibo. But while I get feelings about Yixuan maybe being ace (see below), I get feelings about Wenhan being aromantic. I don't know where this stuff comes from, just that it sort of comes and sticks with me in the back of my mind while I'm writing. /ETA]
> 
> But Yixuan just… seems a bit older in temperament (and obviously, he's four years older even than Sungoo, so that's six years older than Seungyoun and seven years older than Yibo, that's… more than I'm comfortable with at their tender ages)? For whatever reason, including him the sex just felt off. So this scene, even though it wasn't in the outline, came out easy. I love that they all take care of each other in whatever way they need, but also that Yixuan was just not wanting or willing to participate in the sex and felt comfortable enough to just firmly say no. 
> 
> There's a part of me that maybe sees Yixuan as ace, a little. No idea where it comes from, I just get feelings about some characters, and I'm big into ace representation, so we can also just go with that.

Yixuan catches them at it more than once, Yibo on his knees or after, in Seungyoun or Wenhan’s arms, sometimes Sungjoo watching with a complicated expression on his face. He knows it’s just teenage hormones and comfort, so he keeps an eye on them all, but it doesn’t really shift anything between them so he’s fine with it.

He just walks away, leaving them to it and trusting them to take care of each other. 

He hadn’t realized how much comfort is involved for Yibo, though, until the night the other three want to play basketball and Yibo is restless and bitchy, not wanting to go with them but in a mood where they don’t dare leave him alone. Yibo’s not dangerous to himself normally, but he gets homesick the most out of all of them and none of them are left to themselves when a mood like this takes over, anyway.

> There are a few places in this where I just… have to imagine what it might be like and make things up. There are a few candid things caught on camera where the boys miss their families, but for the most part, it's carefully cropped out. I have to imagine that it's occasionally tough for them, though, and this scene comes out of that feeling.

He watches Yibo prowl, into the kitchen, back to his room, into the living room, back to the kitchen… he’s on edge, sad and frustrated. When Yixuan finally gets sick of the aimless wandering, he gets up to intercept Yibo halfway between the kitchen and the living room.

Yibo’s eyes light up and he puts his hands on Yixuan’s waist, going down to his knees in a move that is surprisingly sexy and way too easy for him. The result of an unexpected amount of practice, Yixuan thinks.

> It was important to me that Yixuan, while not getting involved in the sex, was also not judgmental about it. He's fine with it, he's just not going to have anything to do with it.

It’s not that Yixuan can’t see how devastatingly pretty Yibo is, or how handsome or sexy or whatever. It’s just that he doesn’t have the kind of urgency these kids have, or the hormones, and when he looks at Yibo, the pretty doesn’t even register anymore, and Yibo looks _lost_ right now, in need of something familiar and comforting.

Before he can tug Yixuan’s pants down, Yixuan goes to his knees, too, settling back on his heels and pulling Yibo onto his lap, hugging him tightly until all the tension leaves his body and he slumps into the embrace, his head on Yixuan’s shoulder. Yixuan presses a kiss to the top of his head, holding on tightly as Yibo starts to cry, shaking in his arms. 

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, just that he holds Yibo as tightly as he can and the crying is like a rainstorm, heavier and lighter in turns until it dries up and there is only the calm of Yibo breathing damply against his shoulder.

> I just… really like the rainstorm image. A lot of this is just, you know, porn or whatever, but that particular metaphor just really struck me and I love it.

He hears the boys before they open the door, their boisterous laughter carrying down the hallway. Yibo stirs but Yixuan still has him wrapped up in a crushing hug, so he doesn’t let him pull away, waiting for the others to get in the door and see what’s going on.

Seungyoun is first, his laughter bright until it cuts off, and then there’s an “oof” as someone runs into his back because he’s stopped moving. Someone closes the door gently, and then Yixuan is looking up at Seungyoun’s face, soft with concern. “Take him to our room,” Seungyoun says, and Yixuan holds onto Yibo as he gets to his feet, Sungjoo and Wenhan helping. 

He carries Yibo, rubbing his back soothingly, and finally lets go as Wenhan and Seungyoun wrangle him down to the bed and curl around him, getting him settled and petting his hair. Sungjoo moves in to take Wenhan and Seungyoun’s shoes off for them, and Yixuan backs away from the picture, knowing Yibo will be fine. 

He’s almost too sweet for this life, he thinks, but unfortunately for him, he’s very, very good at it. He hopes Yibo can make it through mostly unscathed. He hopes that for all of them and hopes what they’re building between them can be a life preserver to buoy them through the rapids together.

~~~

> So Sungjoo is just… the emotional heart of the story. And I knew I needed to just…. Get a little more of him in here? So I backed up a bit, let him talk through the events of the story to this point so we could get a feel for it from his point of view. For the most part, this entire fic is just, kids being kids, but there's a little more with Sungjoo – and yet. And yet. All of them are just so close. This is just. It's hard to explain. They all love each other. But not romantic love. Despite the sex. It's… more than that? It's. Ha, I do not have a good explain for this feel. It's just more. So much more. And Sungjoo is such a good viewpoint character because it feels like he's a little better at both feeling it, and personally being able to know what "it" is, and that it's well beyond anything any of them might have with a romantic partner.

The first Sungjoo hears of it is when Wenhan comes into their room and complains. “Yibo and Seungyoun are getting each other off in their room.”

Nothing about that surprises him, or is really of concern, either to him or to Wenhan. “So?”

“So…” Wenhan says. He pouts at Sungjoo and Sungjoo laughs. 

“They’re horny kids who sleep in the same bed a lot. Why is it a surprise? And how do you know what they’re doing in their room anyway?”

Wenhan looks guilty, and Sungjoo grins. “That’s what you get, Wenhan.”

“Sungjoo,” Wenhan whines again, and Sungjoo just laughs again.

“No, I’m not getting you off. You can jack off in the bathroom like a grown-up.”

Wenhan blows out an irritated breath that’s not quite a sigh, and Sungjoo rolls over, smiling, and goes back to sleep.

> I needed this little bit to try and normalize the whole concept of this fic. They ALL were okay with the sex with each other on any level, it's just (in my mind) part of the background of a bunch of horny kids living in close quarters with no time of their own. I feel like this sort of experimentation/giving each other a hand would just be part of the way a lot idols in training are.

~~~

Walking in on Yibo on his knees and Wenhan coming in his mouth is different. That’s _visceral_. His guts rearrange themselves and he goes half-hard in less than a second.

He and Seungyoun are rooted to the spot, watching as Yibo whines and Wenhan crouches to help Yibo out. On top of Sungjoo’s untimely erection and sudden organ rearrangement, now his heart thumps painfully in his chest and he thinks _Oh, Yibo_ with enough fondness that it might choke him. 

Wenhan looks up at them, and they look at each other, and they all know what just happened, but there’s just enough embarrassment that he and Seungyoun turn around and go into their rooms. He closes his door because he is not dealing with the fallout from that, and Wenhan can just wait a minute while he jacks off violently to get rid of the nuisance of a hard-on in connection to Yibo.

He doesn’t begrudge any of them messing around. He was a trainee at Yibo’s age, he knows what it’s like working hard and having no one else to blow off steam with because who would have time to keep a girlfriend even if they could find one? And Yibo’s always been a little awkward around girls anyway.

If he comes with an image of Yibo on his knees with his head tipped back, well. That’s between him and his right hand, and he’s not telling anyone.

~~~

He’s not surprised it becomes a regular occurrence. Who in their right mind would turn down Yibo on his knees? And he’s so eager to please them all, to make them happy. Seungyoun and Wenhan always give him a hand after, Yibo going boneless in their arms for a minute after he comes.

It works to settle all three of them just a little. The hyperactive edge of Seungyoun smoothes and focuses, Wenhan gets comfortable in his own skin, and Yibo just smiles all the time, a bright, happy smile and Sungjoo will never begrudge him that, not when he was so serious and uncomfortable with them all in the beginning.

> This is a complete and utter guess about Yibo's behavior/attitude while getting to know the rest of UNIQ. I feel like there is some of this in the footage I watched, but all of that stuff it staged (or the largest part of it) so there's no real way to know. It's not…. Dishonest, exactly, it's just. Performed. But even so, I feel like there is a certain part of it that speaks to their personalities. It's impossible to fake ALL of that, and the five of them are just so obviously close. But anyway, this is basically made up almost entirely. I don't think anything I saw in the UNIQ footage painted Yibo as uncomfortable, this is more an absorption of things people have said about him, especially before getting to know him.

He can’t help watching, and none of them care about that at this point. He doesn’t even always need to go jack off after every time. But he does think the soft _Oh Yibo_ every time he rests his head on their shoulders after.

> This is where I figured out that _Oh, Yibo_ was going to be a thing. It's a thing _i_ often think. Fondly, or amusedly, or… well, mostly fondly. I just… want him to be happy. That's literally all I want. And everyone has a life to live, with its trials and tirbulations that you can't protect them from no matter what, even if they're right there, but Yibo's life has some truly horrible trials and tribulations, and he's halfway across the world and I am just one person who loves him in a sea of millions, and it's just. _Oh, Yibo._

He carefully avoids getting into a situation where Yibo might go down on his knees in front of him, because he is only human and knows he could never resist, and he is concerned about what that _Oh Yibo_ might feel like if it was his shoulder Yibo was leaning on.

Yibo’s still homesick, grumpy, or bitchy from time to time, like they all are, so he doesn’t think much of it when they leave him behind to go shoot some hoops. Coming back to find him in Yixuan’s lap, looking like an overgrown toddler after a tantrum, twists something inside him. 

Yixuan has seen the four of them enough to know what’s going on, but he has always maintained a careful distance. Much more careful than Sungjoo’s own distance, which is close enough that he’s likely to get burned one of these times. 

Seungyoun skids across the kitchen, dropping to his knees and putting a hand on Yibo’s back. He meets Yixuan’s eyes and tells him to take Yibo to their room, and Sungjoo and Wenhan scramble to help Yixuan stand with Yibo still in his arms. 

Wenhan and Seungyoun wrangle Yibo onto the bed between them and Sungjoo wants desperately to do something too, to find a way to slide into a bed really only made for one, but he takes a step back with Yixuan instead, watching to make sure Yibo is alright. Yixuan leaves and Sungjoo will in a minute, when he’s sure, when he’s absolutely certain that Yibo is okay. He notices Seungyoun and Wenhan’s shoes, and performs what service he can, removing them and taking them with him as he closes the door behind him.

~~~

Somehow, he’s made things awkward with Yibo. He hadn’t even realized things were any different between them until he’s alone in the kitchen and Yibo comes in, sees him, _apologizes_ , and leaves again.

“Yibo,” Sungjoo calls after him. Yibo stops, his shoulders tense. “Yibo, come here.”

Yibo turns around but keeps his eyes down, his cheeks pinking up like he’s embarrassed. “Sorry, hyung,” he says and Sungjoo looks at him in confusion.

“What are you sorry for, Yibo?”

Yibo shrugs one shoulder up, still not looking at Sungjoo. “You don’t like being alone with me,” he says, and Sungjoo hadn’t even realized he’d been avoiding Yibo out of self-protection.

“Don’t be silly,” Sungjoo says, fervently hoping he can use his typical tactic of ignoring the awkwardness until it goes away. He throws an arm around Yibo and drags him back into the kitchen. “What were you looking for?”

> At this point, Sungjoo knows what that awkwardness is, and he also knows that there really is only one outcome here. They can't keep being uncomfortable around each other, and he's upset that he's accidentally hurting Yibo while trying to protect himself. But protect himself from what? From loving Yibo? Waaaaaay too late for that. So this is just. Something else to add to their relationship. Another way they know each other. And it's gonna happen. And it's gonna happen here and now. He knows it. Part of him looks forward to it. Part of him is still trying to squirm out of it, because it's big, knowing this about Yibo, and about himself.

Sungjoo’d been just wandering, planning to look at everything they had before deciding nothing was worth the time or bitching about his diet, and leaving hungry. Yibo’s still growing, though, and Sungjoo hates that Yibo’s expected to go hungry because of an aesthetic. They all encourage him to eat, but he’s already developing the habit of going without, and Sungjoo hates it.

> Kate hates it. Sungjoo might hate it, I don't know, but I hate it a lot and I don't like the way idols are taught to think of themselves and their bodies as a product, and live with this kind of deprivation to achieve their goals. I'm glad they're willing to do _whatever it takes_ to make it, I'm just sad that this is part of "whatever it takes" and especially hate it when I think about the fact that their bodies are, in fact, STILL GROWING.

“Snack?” he asks. He looks in the cupboards, finding the ramen that is Yibo’s favorite, and says, “Come on, let’s make some.”

Yibo looks up at him with adoration in his eyes and Sungjoo smiles at him. He’d missed that, and he wonders how awkward he’s been making things between them that Yibo would respect his distance and not just barrel into his space like he’d barreled into his entire life. 

They cook together, talking music a little, talking motorcycles a little, and when they sit down across from each other and dig in, Yibo’s easy grin makes it all worth it. After, when they’re cleaning up – or, Sungjoo is cleaning up and Yibo is just watching him, smiling like the little brat he is – Sungjoo tells himself he’s glad they’ve straightened things out, that Yibo clearly understands now why Sungjoo has been trying to keep his distance.

> One clip I saw was of Yibo talking excitedly to one of his bandmates about motorcycles. I have no idea which bandmate but I think it _might_ have been Sungjoo, and I have no idea when it was. It seems early, in terms of the timeline of this fic, for him to like motorcycles, but I needed something to put there, and I don't know when Yibo got into skateboarding, but I did see him at least talk about motorcycles while he was with UNIQ. Every once in a while my brain is okay with putting something in and NOT researching it for a week to find out if the TWO WORD PHRASE accurately fits in the entire story.

And apparently Yibo does, because he comes over and drapes himself across Sungjoo’s back, a quiet “thank you” whispered against Sungjoo’s neck, and when Sungjoo turns to him, wondering if he’s upset or hurt, Yibo just slides down to his knees and Sungjoo stares down at him helplessly, grabbing onto the sink for support because his knees feel like they’re going to buckle.

“Yibo,” he says, and Yibo looks up at him through his lashes, hands resting on the waistband of his basketball shorts. Sungjoo thought watching Yibo take Seungyoun or Wenhan apart was hot but this is _devastating_. He opens his mouth, wanting to say something else, anything else, but Yibo must be able to see how much Sungjoo wants this – if not in the way he can’t stop staring at his mouth, then in the way his erection is suddenly and irrevocably obvious – and he grins, pulling down Sungjoo’s shorts and not hesitating even a little bit before taking him deep into his mouth. 

Sungjoo can’t help the way his head falls back at the sensation; it’s overwhelming heat and wet when he’s been making do with his own right hand for months now. But it only lasts a second. He can’t help looking back down at Yibo’s pretty mouth, sliding obscenely along his cock, and then he puts his hand in Yibo’s hair and tugs lightly. Yibo’s eyes go huge, rolling back in his head a little.

Sungjoo’s a little surprised that no one’s done that to Yibo before, but he’s not complaining when it means that Yibo looks less smugly pleased with himself and more desperately turned on. It levels the playing field a little. It’s also stupidly hot, and Sungjoo has been wanting this as much as he’s been afraid of it for the last several months, so he doesn’t last very long.

Yibo’s shaking when Sungjoo crouches down to give him a hand. His head crashes into Sungjoo’s shoulder and he’s palming himself desperately through his shorts. Sungjoo puts pressure on Yibo’s hand, watching Yibo’s hips snap up a little, listening to the little groan. “Hyung, please,” Yibo says, and Sungjoo thinks probably no one has teased Yibo even a little about this, so maybe it’s time he learns a little lesson himself. 

Sungjoo keeps the pressure on, lets Yibo press his hips up into it, his fingers twitching under Sungjoo’s, and gets his other hand into Yibo’s pants, too, sliding around to squeeze his ass, and listen to the soft whine of Yibo’s frustration.

> I didn't consciously think about this at the time, but this definitely shows my id a bit here. I love teaching/mentoring, and Seungyoun is only a year older than Yibo, so the two of them figuring this shit out together is just two kids doing what feels good. Wenhan isn't that much older, maybe a bit more experienced, but not that much. [ETA: Whoops, forgot Wenhan is roughly Sungjoo's age, again. I don't know why he doesn't feel it to me. So change this to "I basically think of all of them, Wenhan is the most practical about the sex," again maybe because he might be a bit aromantic, or maybe strongly heterosexual, comparatively? I feel like Yibo and Seungyoun are both pretty queer, but that's about as far as I've ever honestly thought about their sexualities. Basically I think most people are pretty fluid and flexible, so it's odder to me to see rigidity about this sort of thing than flexibility. /ETA] But Sungjoo is old enough to have some experience of his own and far enough out of the raging hormones of puberty to be able to think about it a little and give these gifts to Yibo. (But young enough (and near enough to the situation) for it not to be creepy. Listen – I know about purity culture and all the rest, but are all these kids really just not having sex before they're, what, 18? Or married? I just… don't believe it. _I_ didn't have sex until I was 18 and I was considered a SUPER late bloomer. Most of my friends had sex around 15-16, a few earlier (my sister) and very few later (me). And as long as it was consensual and with people nominally their age (and power balance levels), that was all fine. It IS all fine. Sex positivity and honesty with kids would take a lot of the mystery out of this shit and give everyone space to talk about being responsible about it.) 
> 
> Sorry, I have a lot of feels about young people having sex, and they are NOT "don't do it." They are very much "GO FOR IT" but also "please be safe, take care of yourself, and only do what you want to/feels good". Matter of fact, I kind of feel like that's the sex advice I would give _anyone_. Also know that it takes a long time to figure these things out if you're taught to be ashamed of them, and also things change as bodies change, so get ready for that too. Also, GOOD FUCKING LUCK, sex is weird, relationships are weird, and just do your best and be kind to yourself and others.

Sungjoo uses the gap his off hand has created in Yibo’s shorts to put Yibo’s hand on his own cock, curling his fingers around it deliberately and pressing with his own, getting the movement going before letting go and slipping his hand lower, fondling Yibo’s balls and then pressing behind them, squeezing Yibo’s ass at the same time, and pleased with the soft gasp that escapes Yibo.

Yibo never lasts long when he gets a handjob, so Sungjoo’s a little pleased with himself that Yibo hesitates, that he isn’t just hurtling toward his orgasm the way he usually does, that maybe he’s figuring out something new about what he likes. Eventually, he says, “Please,” again, and Sungjoo relents, grasping Yibo’s cock firmly, stroking it a few rough times and feeling Yibo pulse in his hand, breathing hard.

Yibo settles, slumping into Sungjoo’s arms, and he was right. There’s something sharp and beautiful lodged under his breastbone when he thinks, _Oh, Yibo_.

> I have a particular kink, and that is that I adore anticipation, and the very moment that the anticipation turns to action. But there is a melancholy about getting what you want. Partially because it is so rare for the experience to live up to your expectations (especially if you fantasize about it) but then also to know the anticipation is over with. The experience has happened, and things have changed irrevocably now. There are still many adventures to come and other things, but this particular moment, the anticipation of a first time and then the sweet melancholy directly afterward is a favorite of mine.

~~~

Sungjoo gathers secrets about Yibo and protects them like a dragon guarding a hoard. When Yibo blows him and Seungyoun or Wenhan is around, it’s quick and dirty and furious – despite Yibo glancing up at him through his lashes, pleadingly.

When it’s just him and Yibo, he pulls out all the stops, doing everything he knows Yibo likes and trying everything else he can think of. The first time he holds Yibo still with his hands in his hair and gently fucks his mouth, Yibo comes before he does.

That’s not Sungjoo’s favorite thing, though, despite how blindingly hot Yibo’s mouth is. His favorite thing is how Yibo melts into his arms after, how he arches his body when Sungjoo touches him in places other than just his cock. 

His nipples aren’t sensitive, but his upper chest is, particularly just in front of his neck. He loves having his ass squeezed, and his inner thighs are ticklish. Sungjoo is getting dangerously close to wanting to spread Yibo out on his bed and taste him everywhere.

They never have that kind of time, though, and while he’s not ashamed of what he’s doing with Yibo, he doesn’t want to share it, either. He’s greedy for the way Yibo approaches him differently when they’re alone, the way Yibo’s eyes go hungry and he stalks Sungjoo with the grace of a panther. 

He doesn’t know why it’s never occurred to him before, but when he’s sitting on the couch and Yibo comes over with a look in his eye, he turns the tables and goes to his knees before Yibo can get to him and do it first. Yibo stops in his tracks, his bravado gone and a timid look on his face. “Come here,” Sungjoo commands, and Yibo moves forward, awkward and cute instead of predatory. 

Sungjoo rewards him with a smile and a, “Good boy,” and Yibo grins so happily it makes Sungoo’s heart ache. He reaches up for the waistband of Yibo’s pants, too-tight jeans that are going to hobble him, and realizes Yibo’s probably going to need some support. He gets up, one hand on Yibo’s waist, and maneuvers him back against the wall, Yibo’s head tipped back and staring up at him with something like wonder in his eyes.

He goes back to his knees and undoes the jeans, yanking them down just enough for him to get to Yibo’s cock. Sungjoo hasn’t done this in a while, but it’s not that complicated; he takes Yibo into his mouth comfortably and swirls his tongue around the head of Yibo’s cock. Yibo gasps and his head thunks back against the wall, and Sungjoo smiles to himself, pulling out every cocksucking trick he ever learned with the guys he’s been with. Yibo shakes above him, and Sungjoo keeps his hands steady on Yibo’s hips, pressing him against the wall, giving him something to lean on.

When one of Yibo’s hands come tentatively to his head, he put his hand on top of it, threads Yibo’s fingers through his hair, and keeps going. When Yibo comes, he swallows around him, making Yibo shake even harder, and whine a little. When Yibo crouches down, he tumbles bonelessly onto his knees and lets his head fall onto Sungjoo’s shoulder. When Yibo reaches for Sungjoo tentatively, Sungjoo wraps his hand around Yibo’s and thrusts up into it, coming in a handful of strokes.

> I wish I had some pithy advice to give about writing sex, or this sex scene (or any in this damn porn-fest) but all I do is picture something I think is kinda sexy, then write about it in the morning when my filters are all off, and try to balance details (I tend away from the super-explicit fic) with emotions. There are plenty of good "how to write sex scenes" tutorials out there ([my favorite](https://cupidsbow.livejournal.com/194295.html), back in the day, was by cupidsbow, who basically pointed out that they're action scenes and you should treat them as such. I don't really know what that meant at the time and still don't but it was an interesting read.).

When they’re done and he has Yibo in his arms, still shaking, he thinks, _Oh, Yibo_ with such fondness that his heart trips over itself for a couple of beats before settling back down to normal.

~~~

For months, things continue like this, Yibo still happy to go to his knees for any of them – though Yixuan actually refuses once instead of stealthily staying out of range, and it puts Yibo in a funk for days. Sungjoo thinks maybe Yibo’s extreme pouting might change Yixuan’s mind, but it doesn’t. He doesn’t change the way he is with Yibo either, despite the way Yibo snarls at him like a wounded cat, and eventually Yixuan tumbles Yibo onto the couch, holding him tight in all his limbs until Yibo goes boneless and accepts it. The rest of them pile on and they end up on the floor in a sprawl, watching tv.

It’s only a matter of time before Sungjoo gets his time with Yibo alone; they grab a few minutes here or there and Sungjoo has had enough chances to finger Yibo that he has some lube with him anytime he has pockets. He’d added a condom not too long after that, because if the opportunity ever arose, Sungjoo wasn’t going to be unprepared. 

Sungjoo isn’t sure whether it’s a good thing or not that it ends up being a hotel. It’s more privacy than they usually have and a door that locks properly, but he’d wanted to see Yibo laid out on his bed, not the ugly anonymous duvet of one of a hundred hotels they’ve stayed in.

> This is where I had to go "welp, no idea what this might be like for these guys" and just… make it the fuck up. Sometimes that will stick me. I'll spiral into trying to figure out what travel schedules/accommodations are like for Kpop idols and obviously I'm never going to be able to research that completely, and it just… languishes. But sometimes I can go "eh whatever" and write this sort of thing without a thought to whether or not it might be an accurate representation of what the boys' travel or accommodations were like.

They’re tired, a long day of travel and filmed sightseeing, impromptu rehearsal at the end because they just seem to fall into it as a way to make the travel feel familiar somehow, and if he wasn’t so keyed up by the fact that Yibo has his own room because Seungyoun’s staying at a friend’s, he’d probably get out of the shower and fall into his bed, dead asleep like Wenhan.

He takes a room key, though he knows he won’t be coming back. Yibo doesn’t actually like to be alone, and it’s not even suspicious that Sungjoo’s going to check on him – when he opens the door, he’s saying, “Yixuan, I’m fine,” even as he registers who it is. 

A beautiful pink blush spreads up his cheeks and he opens the door to let Sungjoo in. “Are you really fine?” Sungjoo asks, and Yibo nods. 

“I thought you might check on me.”

Sungjoo smiles. “Of course, you know I’ll take care of you,” he says, backing Yibo into the room. The door slams shut just as they make it to the foot of the bed, and Yibo sinks to his knees, grin on his face. Sungjoo allows him to start here, because it makes Yibo happy, but when he tips his head back as Yibo takes him into his mouth, motion on his left catches his eye. He turns, and sees the mirror that’s stretched out over a long desk, across from the bed.

> Sex almost always starts from a still photograph, for me. I get a mental image (in this case, it was Sungjoo fucking Yibo from behind while they watched themselves in the mirror) and then I have to write my way up to it. This is where morning writing helps SO MUCH because my brain just fills in what needs to happen to get to my picture and voila! Sex scene.
> 
> I was listening to… a webinar? A conversation? I can't remember. It was at work, and they were talking about … Oh right. It was about the phrase "eat that frog" which is actually, a useful bit of advice in how to get your work done. I also find it to be useful to me in writing. I know there are writers who go straight to the bits they're excited to write and then, maybe, piece things together later. That seems painful to me; writing transitions is hard, man, and to do it when there's no excitement left in a story because I've already written all the good bits? That sounds like hell. I write linearly, and I do so for a number of reasons, but the main one is that if I skip around, I find that when I DO write the transitions, the transitions can often change character dynamic subtly so the stuff I've written after that no longer really fits, so basically it was a giant waste of time to write that part I was excited about and now have to scrap. 
> 
> But I often think that keeping the scenes I really want to write locked away until I write the build-up has taught me (inadvertently) how to write long form. Because I know where I'm going. I know I have to get there and how I'm going to do it. And I HAVE to do it, or I won't be able to write the scene I have been WAITING for. It also means that I have to find some kind of joy in the scenes that I'm writing or a) they will all be boring as fuck and/or b) I'll personally be bored and wander away to work on something else.
> 
> Now there's some writing advice that says "don't write boring stuff, if you're bored, your readers will be too" and I get that. I also believe it. BUT! There are times when you simply DO have to add information or scene changes or transitions into a fic and those things just have to be done. That's not to say that they have to be boring – as one gets more practiced at writing long, one finds ways to put other stuff into those spaces, bits of characterization or description that can be surprising and fun while still getting across the needed information.

There’s a little whine from Yibo, and when Sungjoo tears his thoughts away from the mirror and looks down, Yibo’s mouth is pouting around his cock. He can see the disappointment on Yibo’s face. He apologizes with his hands, tugging on Yibo’s hair to get him to back off and then holding him still while Sungjoo thrusts into his mouth a few times. Yibo moans, palming his own cock in his pants, and Sungjoo stops. They’ve got time and privacy. He’s not going to let this happen too fast.

He pulls his cock out Yibo’s mouth, feeling Yibo trying to follow, yanking against Sungoo’s hands in his hair. “Hyung,” he whines, but Sungjoo just shakes his head and pulls Yibo up. 

Yibo’s flush has spread down his chest, and Sungoo slides a hand up his shirt to feel skin. Yibo is feverishly warm, and Sungjoo pulls his shirt off over his head. Yibo tries to cross his arms over his chest. He’s a little shy about his body yet, doesn’t like to take his shirt off even when they’re swimming. He hasn’t realized how gorgeous he is, which is one of the most simply beautiful things about him.

The flush reddens and Sungjoo can’t help it, he rests a hand at the base of Yibo’s neck, his thumb on one side of Yibo’s throat and his fingers on the other. Yibo automatically tips his head back, offering it.

 _He has no idea how sexy he is,_ Sungjoo thinks. He turns Yibo toward the mirror, getting behind Yibo, smiling as Yibo’s head falls because he’s being shy. Sungjoo traces his thumb up Yibo’s neck and tilts his head back, and Yibo’s eyes shutter as he looks at himself in the mirror. 

Years later, when every photoshoot of Yibo has at least one picture of him with his head back and throat bared, Sungjoo will think, _I’m the one who taught him that was sexy._

> I don't know a damn thing about modeling, but there are too many pictures of Yibo with his head tipped back and exposing his neck for it to be coincidence.

Sungjoo noses at the side of Yibo’s neck, setting his teeth against it gently to hear Yibo gasp again. He can’t leave any marks, but he wants to. He’s suddenly intensely jealous of the first person who will be able to do that to Yibo.

It’s easy, then, to strip Yibo out of the rest of his clothes and yank his own off, to get them both on the bed on their knees, Yibo in front of him so they can both watch as Sungjoo traces his hands over all the places on Yibo’s body he’s slowly collected over the months, his collarbones and ribs and inner thighs. 

Yibo’s head stays tipped back, eventually coming to rest on Sungjoo’s shoulder, as he watches through half-closed eyes. He’s listless, which is Sungjoo’s favorite – when he’s overwhelmed with how good it feels, it’s like everything just… shuts down. He takes the lube and coats the fingers of his right hand and the palm of his left, grabbing Yibo’s cock when he starts to finger him open, a combination that makes Yibo shudder. 

His eyes are closed now, his mouth dropped open, and Sungjoo has a hard time deciding where he wants to look in the mirror. The pleasure on Yibo’s face is intoxicating but watching Yibo’s hips are tipped back to press against Sungjoo’s fingers stretching him open is almost as good, not to mention the way Yibo’s hands are gripping his own thighs hard enough to leave bruises. It’s overwhelming. 

Yibo knows his body, though, has an incredible amount of control even like this, and when he wants more, he goes after it, working his hips to make the most of Sungjoo’s hands. Sungjoo can’t help thinking of Yibo’s dancing, watching his body roll easily through moves that have always been strangely innocent-looking on Yibo in rehearsal. He thinks everyone is going to know what happened here come practice next week, but Sungjoo doesn’t have it in him to care.

Yibo’s generally quiet – they all are, they don’t need their manager coming to find them when they’re messing around – but he whines when he wants something, and he’s started the breathy complaints every time he shoves himself back onto Sungjoo’s fingers. Sungjoo withdraws which definitely brings a whine out of Yibo, but he just bites softly at Yibo’s neck and says, “Patience.”

Getting the condom on is a fiasco that ends up with lube all over the bedspread, but it’s worth it to see his cock slowly press into Yibo, and then be able to look up and see Yibo’s expression in the mirror, still open-mouthed, but with his forehead crinkled up in concentration. The shift into confusion and complaint as Sungjoo pulls out is even better, especially when he presses in again and Yibo’s head tips forward, his hair falling around his face.

He looks at them in the mirror – Yibo basically on Sungjoo’s lap – and realizes if they lean back a little, both of them can see the way Yibo takes Sungjoo’s cock, and flood of heat prickles at his skin. He shifts them, pulling out so Yibo will be able to see, and says, “Look, Yibo.”

Yibo’s eyes snap up to the mirror, locking onto Sungjoo’s cock, watching greedily as Sungjoo pushes up into him. He unseats himself, rising on his knees to lift himself up, and sinking back down in a roll of his hips that has Sungjoo dizzy with it. 

Sungjoo keeps his eyes on Yibo, the smooth way he works himself on Sungjoo’s cock, eyes hot and hungry as he watches himself, is enough to undo Sungjoo utterly. He can feel himself skating along the edge of coming, and he concentrates on bringing Yibo to that edge before he tips over it.

When he moves his hands along Yibo’s skin, the movement is enough to catch his eyes in the mirror, and Yibo stutters. Sungjoo puts pressure on the places he knows Yibo likes, holding his ribs so he can control the thrusting. Yibo’s head tips back and he groans, still watching himself half-lidded in the mirror.

Sungjoo lets his hands go lower, down Yibo’s ribcage and waist and hips until he’s grasping Yibo’s inner thighs and spreading him, feeling the stretch in Yibo’s muscles under his hands and the way it makes Yibo shake as Sungjoo slows down and goes deeper. 

He doesn’t stop moving, but he does adjust, using his hands on Yibo to choreograph the way their bodies work together. Yibo lets him, shaking under his hands like he does when he starts to fall apart. There’s a low whine almost constant in the back of Yibo’s throat. 

They ride this rhythm together for a little while, Sungjoo keeping Yibo right on the edge and shifting his grip or his thrust if Yibo’s shaking gets less urgent, and finally, when he seeing Yibo fall apart in his hands is about to absolutely ruin him, he shifts one hand to Yibo’s cock, please when Yibo’s whole body convulses and he’s coming beautifully under Sungjoo’s hands just a few seconds later, his body strung tight. 

It’s enough to bring Sungjoo along, coming like cresting a wave, trying to keep his eyes open because the image of Yibo in the mirror, young and wildly beautiful, is something he wants to lock in his memory forever. He watches Yibo come down, watches as the shakes stop and his limbs go loose and heavy, and Sungjoo shifts his arms to come around Yibo, to hold him close and think, _Oh, Yibo_.

~~~

> I've never really thought about muses the way some writers do, but I do occasionally think about inspiration, broadly. Sometimes I get ideas that just dog me until I write them down, which is an interesting type of inspiration, to be sure. But sometimes I start writing and something completely unexpected comes out and I'm like, "where the fuck did *that* come from?" and I stare at it and think about that for a while. I don't believe that there is some outside force handing me inspiration or ideas or even words (though I honestly look at some of my writing and go… "I wrote that?!!!") but it is disconcerting to see something pop up that's not at all in my consciousness, something I've never thought about before, or at least has made its presence known in my mind. This bit about Sungjoo's past was like that. I wrote it and came back to it later and was like… "what the fuck is this?!!!" and also "I LOVE IT SO MUCH" and I just… really love the creative process, man. Surprising yourself with something you wrote? GENIUS. SIGN ME UP FOR THAT THANKS.
> 
> And in this case, it gave me the concept for the whole ending scene here, which is a nice close on a fic where I knew the climax of the story was going to be penetrative sex (usually sex accompanies the climax, it isn't the climax itself (how many times can I say the word climax here hardy har har)), and this bit on the end softens it a lot and also gives a melancholy feel which is often how I feel about UNIQ when I see things about them around, or hear of any of them, particularly in relation to the others (Yixuan cheering his bandmates on in their competition shows makes me RIDICULOUSLY happy). So thanks, brain, muse, inspiration, whoever gave me the idea for this.

When Sungjoo was a boy, his mother had told him to be careful when opening a door to his heart. He hadn’t known what she meant at the time, but she had been crying and he had nodded and carefully tucked the advice away.

As they all get their chances at the idol life, starting to flicker in and out of their shared spaces, he thinks he finally understands. Every time someone leaves, even for a few days, his heart flutters with _maybe this is it_. It’s never the same when one of them is gone, and when the one is Yibo, everything seems to lose its luster. 

He has his own chances, leaves to film various roles and ads, and is always glad to sink back into his place when he comes home. He wonders how long it will still feel like home.

The question is answered for him the day Yibo moves out, off for months to film a drama and then shoot two other shows in between. His packed suitcase is sitting by the door – not even the first one Sungjoo’d seen there, but somehow the most devastating – and Yixuan has hugged him close and retreated into his room. He may be taking this even harder than Sungjoo.

“Be good,” Sungjoo teases, and Yibo makes a face. 

“I’m always good,” Yibo says.

Sungjoo smiles. “Yes, you are,” he answers, and pulls him into a hug, squeezing as tightly as he dares. 

Yibo pulls back enough to kiss Sungjoo on the cheek. The door in his heart splinters with the force of it.

“Sungjoo,” Yibo says, pulling back to look at him. Sungjoo waits patiently. He knows none of them are good at saying serious things except when they’re playing. Yibo shakes his head, and Sungjoo nods. They don’t need words, anyway.

“Yibo,” he says, letting the smile he can’t put on his face come across in the name. Then he takes Yibo’s face in his hands, and leans forward to kiss him, gently, on the lips. Yibo starts shaking, and Sungjoo pulls him in close, lets him rest his head on Sungjoo’s shoulder. “No matter what happens,” Sungjoo says, “you’ll always have us.”

Yibo nods his head, bringing his arms up to make this another hug, something more manageable than Yibo falling apart and Sungjoo trying to piece him together. They stay like that until there’s a knock on the door and muffled call about Yibo’s car being here.

They don’t say anything else, and Yibo releases him reluctantly. His eyes are wet when he turns to leave. Sungjoo closes the door gently behind him, the one in his heart standing wide open and already waiting for Yibo’s return.

~~~


End file.
